GarThoma

Contemplative Pentecostal

Mindfulness

The train travels from memory to expectation.

Surrender rides solemnly,
Smelling like yesterday’s regret.

She looks out the window as all the unanswered questions rush by.
In her hand she holds a moment,

Shaping it into something that resembles desire.
Tumbling to the floor it shatters in a million pieces.

She picks them up,
Wets them with her tears

And ponders each one.

A Prayer for the Church

(Based on the gospel reading from John 17:20-26)

Lord,
Oneness is the place where your glory dwells.
May we, your Spirit infused church, live in that oneness.
Oh, that your church would know the oneness that is in you–in your love;
The love with which you loved us before the foundation of the world.
And so, may the world see that you are real; that we are real.
May we find ourselves dwelling with you, in your glory.
Amen

My Soul Magnifies The Lord (a personal Magnificat)

I rejoice that God has chosen me, a mere nobody to receive his mighty Spirit into my soul.
He has called me to join in his work of redemption in the world!
While I am alive I am honored to be a participant in His divine nature.
I get to bring Christ to the world!
I am one of heaven’s ambassadors,
I’ve been given the great privilege of bearing the image of God in this life;
Of sharing in the Gospel of Jesus Christ;
His incarnation
His life and miracles
His resurrection
His ascension

All these are resident in my soul through the gift of His Spirit!
Praise be to God who sees me and chooses me to bring Him glory
As I live my life on this earth!

In The Sphere of Love (prayer of the mystic)

The sphere of your love
Is an ancient orb that flows
Down the shaft of my soul

Penetrating all those painful
Memories, covering them in
healing balm, washing away all sin

In cleansing blood. Reorienting
Me toward the Spirit
Remaking me into my origin.

My crooked soul, now upright
Lifted by the strength of your love.
The child inside is healed

Loved
Accepted
Embraced.

The flame almost snuffed out
Once again kindled in this heat.
Burning passion almost dissolved

By the world, renewed in this sphere.

Shape me, my Lord, into your image.
Make me, my Lord, the servant you intend.
Take me, my Friend, into the space

Of your Kingdom, and show me things
My eyes have never seen.

Your heart is large enough for all
May we find ourselves there,
Together for all eternity.

Calling

I am inflamed in your resurrection,
embraced by the light of your glory.

I am empowered by your Spirit
to live out the new creation life

You are enthroned on high far above principality and power
pouring out your merciful love on all humankind.

I am engulfed by this calling to share the good news

to the lost,
The hurting,
the poor.

Icon

I am a breath and a prayer;
Oil smeared into dust and dirt,

Painted on wood
In tempera and gold leaf

Leaving footprints on the earth;
Impressions in the universe

To echo throughout days

Eternal

The God Who Thirsts

That day I stood in my place among the crowd;
I say I stood, prob’ly should have bowed.

Thrust up into the hot desert sky;
Fastened to the cross, condemned to die.

His arms outstretched to embrace the world,
Seven words He spoke as the hours unfurled.

When the sky darkened; the day grew dim.
I remained nearby, eyes fixed upon Him.

His life was lived offering himself
Taken for granted now placed on a shelf

Mercy, healing, love; his only crime.
Incarnated hope, hated and wounded by time

Last night in the garden longing mingled with tears.
Such love He gave to His friends these three years.

Cracked open and empty; He poured himself out
Lifting up His head exuded a shout.

Two words came from lips split and burst
I couldn’t believe it when I heard Him say, “I thirst.”

It was then I felt my heart in my chest
Let go the tears I had long suppressed;

How can this be, I wondered aloud
He who offered living water to the temple crowd;

How can this be-say it isn’t true
The one pouring out his life asking something from me and from you

What does He desire; what does this express,
Save that His love has already dealt with the rest?

This is our God who became a curse
Who comes to you tonight and says,
“My child, I thirst.”

A Holy Week Prayer

Oh Lord,
Help me ponder the mystery of your love for me.
Let me not escape into the comforts and consolations of this world,
Of family and friends;
Of amusements and games;
Of various forms of medications that keep me from feeling pain.
Help me remain with you as you enter your Passion;
Enable me to watch and pray.
Oh Lord, forgive me for all the ways I continue to seek comforts that anesthesize me from entering with you into your Passion;
For the many ways I escape into temporary consolation.
I desire to know what you endured in order to show ultimate love for me.
How can I do this when I am so addicted to the numbing medicine
Of worldly vindication;
Of fleshly validation?
Oh Christ my Lord, it was for the joy set before you that you endured the cross.
That joy must have come from your obedience to the Father;
From purchasing my life back from the prince of this world!
Oh Lord, let me find my joy in you;
In your love for me!
Amen

Your Silence

Jesus was silent before Pilot.
I imagine His silence by using my senses.

Your silence looks like the ashen March sky.
It is the sound of the morning mist received into the soft earth.
It is the fog the surrounds me and touches my body.
It smells like damp dirt after a warm rain
And tastes like green tea.

The Names I Call You

Your name is the handle
Attached to the luggage
That carries my existence:

I call you Rock and
You weigh me down.

I call you Faith
And, suddenly, I cannot see;
You drag me through the darkness.

I call you Joy
And a smile appears on my lips.

I call you Chaos
And your Spirit broods over
My dark abyss.

I call you Lost
And you draw me a map through the wilderness.

I call you my Heart
And I abide in You;
I find rest there.

I call you Light
And I am blinded.

I call you Strength
And I am engaged in a wrestling match
Until I am crippled.

I call you Vision
And my eyes weep a river
Winding into the unknown.

I call you King
I am subjected,
I bow before you.

I call you Confessor
And I am forgiven.

I call you Savior
And blood splashes on my face.

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